Mummy, you are just a housekeeper, don't talk to me like that! Said my oldest daughter!

Mummy, you are just a house keeper- don’t talk to me like that” said my oldest daughter Danielle.

She has always pushed my buttons but that's okay, God knew i could manage as her mother. She is a lot like me....i love that about her.

When I was a little girl, I saw my mum do everything. She was a single mother and did not have the luxury of staying home with us. She went to work every day. She sometimes went weeks and months away from home working upcountry or abroad.

When she came home, we had all her attention. She stretched her love between 5 children and made sure we had the best she could offer us single highhandedly.  I don’t think she thought about what we were learning from her lifestyle ….her sole aim was to educate us and provide.

Because of what I saw growing up, I know I can do it all. I mean, I can go to work, raise the kids, stretch my heart to bless other people and make the world a better place. I don’t commonly think there is anything a man can do that I can’t.

When I met my husband, I came into the relationship as a companion, best friend and helper as we all do!

We don’t have divided roles, everything I do, he can do and vice versa.

Danielle and her siblings have always seen me go to work and add significantly to our household upkeep and that what i want them to learn. They need to learn to fend for themselves and others and not be a dependent on others.

So, when God gave my husband this opportunity to work in Zambia, there is no way we were going to stay in Uganda while he stayed in Zambia. Our time together as a family is very precious and we never want to live apart and also we love the adventure of travel and living a full on adventure.

So, I gave up my job in Uganda and moved with the kids to Zambia.

I know I will get a job as we go along but for the past one year, I have been at home, settling in the kids and making sure George is focused on his job.

Eight months into our stay in Zambia, I asked Danielle to do her chores and yes her response was “mummy, you are just a house keeper- don’t talk to me like that”. George was very furious with her and made her apologize to me. I didn’t really take it so hard because Danielle has used her words carelessly before. Those who know me personally will know that that child would have got a whooping- a proper one but I just ignored her and let her dad deal with her.  We later talked about it and she was very sorry she said that to me.

Danielle is a lot like me. I have said things to people especially those that I love that I should not say and have hurt them so bad. My husband will tell you the damage I have caused in the past and how far I have come with trying to say the right words.

I am learning every day to build people with my words and weigh every word that comes out of my mouth. Some days are easier and some are harder…especially those days when I am under pressure or tired and exhausted.

If Gabriel my first son had said the same thing to me, it would have hurt me deeply. He is a lot like his father, his words are many but are meaningful and he would have gotten a whooping for it.

Danielle has said things and still says things that are harmful and just like me she has to learn to use her words to build and not to tear down people.

This morning, I was observing her using her words to build her little brothers and my heart was blessed tremendously.

When I reminded her of her statement, she said mummy, you know that I don’t remember ever saying that to you. Bless her!

One key thing that I maintain with my children is to have a good heart. I see through all my seven kids and their heart condition is what will build or break them as they go on in life as Christians. 

I grew up hearing people say things like “so and so has a bad heart”  or “That family is evil and they have bad hearts” and as a child, I decided I never want to have a bad heart. If I have Jesus in my heart, then I must keep a good heart and I keep checking with my children as part of my parenting but key part of my response is knowing who my children are: their strengths and weaknesses. Putting their strengths to use while using their weaknesses as opportunities to make them stronger and better citizens of the world.

Staying home has been a blessing to us. I have had a chance to settle in James, Emmanuel and Khloe' who we have recently adopted and help get the bonding process happening for all of us.

But as parents, we have to pay attention to what our kids say and do! Through talking about their actions and words, we get to uproot any evil intentions before they take deep root in the lives our children. This process also helps us check our own hearts and make sure we maintain a clean and health heart that blesses God and the world.

Have a great weekend!