Yes, I asked my husband out! The beginning of it all

He said to me:  “Mummy, you know they are safest with us, you cannot let them go anywhere else”.

                                         James, Gabriel, Emmanuel and Joey (Left to right)

Many people have asked me how my older biological children feel about having 5 adopted siblings.  The first time I was asked that, I wondered what exactly my response was supposed to be. I was actually caught off guard. I knew that my children didn’t really care because they were happy children but somehow that answer was not a trusted one with my friend.

This friend/social worker , who asked me this, said her reason for the question was because they share everything and apparently in the end have less than they would have had because they have to share everything.

When we were trying to make sense of my mums death and the situation with James, Emmanuel and Khloe- the 3 children who had been abandoned at birth by their mothers but had been under my mums care until her sudden death and my sisters back in Uganda had run to different organizations looking for where to place the children, my son Gabriel who was then 12 could not bear the pain the children must have been going through and the fact that we may never see them again. He said to me “mummy, you know they are safest with us, you cannot let them go anywhere else”. That hit me like a turn of bricks. He obviously doesn’t have to worry about school fees and the bills that come with every extra child- he was just talking with childlike faith. For a minute I wanted to shout at him for that comment because he needed to be considerate of the financial burden on us but then again, I have taught him faith. I realize his thought process is a result of our spiritual input. It hit me; that’s how he feels about his adoptive siblings.

It was a crazy 2 months of decision making – what do we do with the kids? Where do we put the kids? God what do you want us to do? God do you still care about the children- why mummy had to die… and I was so frustrated. I kept hearing James’s voice wailing when my mum’s body was lowered in the ground. I could not push him or Emmanuel or Khloe away. I could not imagine them in an organization without their nicely ironed clothes as mummy kept them. I could not imagine them throwing tantrums and them not being understood. I just failed to let go. Our hearts failed to let go.

In my house Danielle kept saying, I will teach Khloe to be sassy and she must not wear any dresses. They first 4 could not wait to have extra siblings.

My older children are no different from their mother and father. They have grown to know that they are blessed when they give and they also know how important it is to love sacrificially.

They are so happy that they belong in a large family. There is lots of laughter and fun in the house 24/7.

There is no difference between Danielle and Khloe’ and none between Gabriel and Emmanuel. Adoption is just a word we use to help us all connect but our hearts have been woven together by a love that cannot be broken. A love that we all have to fight for

One lesson that I have learned is that every person has their own personal blessing from God. Everyone is blessed in my house. It doesn’t matter how they started off in life. I will always try to tap into each of their blessing on their behalf through prayer and encouragement and help them be the best they can be.

But truth is that it wasn’t all loving. The start was a little rough as Kayla’s strong personality was coming out and she was about 4 years old and then Danielle and Gabriel were 8 and 6 respectively. They had fights between themselves and the older 2 made statements like “you don’t have our DNA”! But at the same time- Danielle told Gabriel - She wishes she was the only child! It is the human heart that they all have.

 I started them off early training them to be loving and considerate of each other. 

Truth is that they are still far from perfect but there is a saying in my mother tongue with this interpretation “you can only start bending a stick when it is still wet- if you try to bend it when it is dry, it will break”! I started bending them when they were little. I pray that the heart of the Lord will reign in their lives forever.